My Friend Tracy Sent This To Me

1. Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell? It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!

2. You know you're a nurse if ... you would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley.

3. Your sense of humor gets more warped each year. Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.

4. You know the smell of different diarrheas and can identify them.

5. You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know.

6. You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.

7. You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.

8. You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you started nursing.

9. Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least 4 of them on you. (in your hair or behind your ear!)

10. You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is the more difficult part."

11. You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help.

12. Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.

13. You find yourself checking out other customer's veins in grocery waiting lines.

14. You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

15. Your fingers have gone places you never thought possible.

16. You have seen more penises than any prostitute.

17. You can go from cleaning up poop, straight to lunch and not think twice about it.